Cisco CEO John Chambers is on target when he says Internet 2.0 will be defined by pervasive video and collaboration tools. But I’m not sure social networking has evolved to the point of being an effective collaboration vehicle. Collaboration is an interesting word: co: together, labor: to work. The act of working together. Not playing together. Not socializing. Not even networking. Rather, working together.

I receive countless requests to become a buddy or a contact on a host of social networking tools: IM, LinkedIn, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. I’m sure they want me as a contact only because they believe they can use me to get to the women in leadership about whom I’ve written in my book, Outstanding in their Field: How Women Corporate Directors Succeed. That’s a pretty sad thought: they don’t want to associate with me. Rather they want me to make it possible for them to associate with others.

Not too likely. Why? Would a newspaper journalist give away his/her sources? Would a company executive give away his/her client list? Would any professional delight in exposing his/her priority contacts to the unfettered public adulation of social paparazzi? Would you make your personal contact list available to anyone who requested it?

The questions need to be answered: Why do you want to connect to me? Why are you networking with me? What do you want from me? What is the benefit in our associating with each other? Why would I want to go into this public space with you?

Because it’s cool, I’m told. Because everyone is doing it, they say. Because it’s so easy. Because I asked you. Because if you don’t, then you must be old. Because I want your business for my business. Because I want your clients for my clients. Because I don’t want to work as hard as you did to accomplish what you did. Because, if you don’t do what I ask, then I’ll tell all my friends that you’re a snob. Because you need me, because I’m part of the next generation. Because mentoring is such a good thing. Because you SHOULD.

Why would I want to help you succeed? Certainly, it is not because I’m easily intimidated into taking action or making choices. If you want me to help you succeed, then there must be some sort of positive reflection on me -– some benefit to me. When I provided the opportunity for women in leadership to participate in this book, to be interviewed, they had to feel confident that this would benefit them and the things they valued. It could not simply be something that benefited me. I had to allow them to see what I was doing, read what I had researched, see the questions I wanted to ask, and enable them to phrase their answers in words they would find acceptable. In fact, they had to be more impressed with my efforts and the value I was attempting to create than I was impressed by them. Which, believe me, is saying a great deal.

Somewhere along the way we changed the concept of "mentoring" from something that was given by choice on the part of the individual with the experience and the value into something else that is presumed to be entitled by birth on the part of the individual who has yet to prove him/herself. Today, we are told by no less than our President and our First Lady that we MUST volunteer in service just about everywhere -– in our communities, to our government, to our schools and places of faith. We must give everything of ourselves.

But, who cares? Who values what is being given if we merely expect this of everyone? Are we able to distinguish anymore between the individual with value who chooses, consciously, to invest in those whom she/he deems worthy of the venture versus everyone else, value or otherwise, who chooses lemming-like to follow the dictates of a commander in chief and his coterie? If everyone gives out of guilt, then how do we determine if what is being given is of value? Or -– even more importantly -– how do we know if the recipient knows how to value that which has been given?

John Chambers has some interesting and powerful "rules" which guide his business strategies. He chooses technology based on whether it has the capacity to drive productivity. He also believes in strict, ruthless control over costs. Tough! He has a "playbook" by which he runs his businesses. They are the same rules that guide our "working together":

1. Be realistic -– guage the challenges created by the economy and challenges which are self-inflicted.

2. Assess your situation -- ask how long a downturn will last and how deep it will be.

3. Get ready for the upturn.

4. Get closer to your customers.

5. Watch the stockmarket to track trends.

6. Always have more cash, not less.

7. Be aggressive –- organize yourself to be positioned to compete.

Good advice for these times: HOW we can work together.